MY TRANSIENT LIFE...A HEART DIVIDED

 

 

It is amazing how our lives take drastic turns from what we imagined they would be growing up. Being raised a farm girl on a small farm/truck garden in southwest Michigan, I just assumed that is where my life would always be. I never would have imagined that my heart would be divided between three different states throughout my life. Nor, did I ever imagine that I would be a transient.

No, I am not a hobo or homeless, which is the first thought that comes to mind when transient is mentioned. It’s just that a hometown boy wasn’t in my future. My husband Jim was from Pennsylvania and my fiancé Ron is from Indiana.

I am a product of my roots and so is Ron. My small farm is a mile from where I grew up and his farm is three miles from his home. We both cherish family and friends and leaving our respective homes isn’t an option, at least not at this stage of the game. So, we commute between the two, hence my transient life. We say that we have a southern (Indiana) and northern (Michigan) home…sounds impressive that way!

So, how does this work? Quite nicely…most of the time, that is. We are only 180 miles, or three hours apart. Though not ideal, it could be worse and, after six years, we sort of have a system. Ideally, we spend a week to ten days at one place then head for the other. Of course, in this life, there are a lot of times that are not ideal. Depending on what is going on, we have been known to spend a day at one place then head for the other and back again. Hey, it’s only three hours, right?

 

When you put it all in context, this really isn’t so bad, considering that Mercersburg, Jim’s home town in Pennsylvania, was 500 miles away. We would usually make a couple trips a year out there, and more if we were lucky. That isn’t a lot of time to spend with family and friends. It did help that many of them would head our way in between.

 

Mercersburg is a charming small town nestled in the Tuscarora Valley, flanked by its mountains. It’s a farming community of friendly folks who welcomed me like one of their own. I learned to make hog maw (the stomach of a pig which is cleaned and stuffed with potatoes, cabbage, sausage and then baked), and to eat pon haus (a mush of pork scraps and trimmings combined with cornmeal and wheat flour which is shaped into a loaf and then fried).

I also have attended apple butter boils and hometown festivals where homemade ice cream, country ham, chicken corn soup and some hometown picking brought folks together for a night of homegrown food and music. I have been a part of these folks’ lives for over 30 years.

 

Ron’s home in Indiana is just outside a little place called Economy, about 60 miles east of Indianapolis. The old saying of “don’t blink or you’ll miss it” certainly is true here. Also a farming community, folks here have likewise made me one of their own. Everyone knows each other and is willing to lend a hand but is also is respectful enough not to crowd a person’s space.

 

Fishing is a big pass time for many folks down here and I am amazed to see pictures of how many guys from around Ron’s home have discovered the St. Joe River in Michigan and have trekked up there every year to fish. I am especially amazed that Ron and his family have been coming up here to fish the St. Joe about a mile from my home for the past 50 years. It truly is a small world.

 

I eat sloppy joes in Michigan, whimpies in Indiana and steamers in Pennsylvania and it’s all the same dish. I shop in Greencastle in Pennsylvania and also in Indiana. I have been in Hagerstown, Indiana and Hagerstown, Maryland (close to Mercersburg) and Centreville, Michigan and Centerville, Indiana, although they each spell it differently.

It has taken me a few years to master the pronunciation but I have finally mastered the Mississinewa (Miss-is-in-a-wa) River in Indiana and the Conococheague (Kah-no-Kah-cheek) Creek in Pennsylvania. No matter the miles, we are all connected in some way.

 

So, how does this living in two places actually work? For one thing, it has taught us to use time a little more wisely. If something needs done, you do it then instead of putting it off until next week when you won’t be home. One thing that it has changed is planning meals. The last couple of days at one place is usually leftover day. Whatever we do have left such as milk, bread and lunch meat goes in the cooler to head out. There have been a couple times when the same thing made the trip twice!

Shopping is a little different too. Whether it is shampoo, toothpaste or a bunch of other items, we buy two at a time because we always run out at the same time at both places. Of course, there is always “the bag.” It is a bright yellow tote bag that always goes with us. It is filled with things that need to go either north or south because if we shop one place, some things always need to go the opposite way. Have bag will travel!

Then there is the checklist. You would think that by now it would just be second nature what needs done before we leave. However, it never fails for me anyway, I always forget one thing. So, the checklist of turn down the thermostat, water plants, turn off the well pump, etc. is the last thing I check…as long as I don’t forget to check the checklist!

The trip itself really isn’t so bad. For me, it is my ahhh time. You just know that it is a three-hour trek so you may as well put on some music, sit back and enjoy the ride. We have watched the progress of different houses being built, landscaping in yards and a cow barn being built from start to finish on our weekly trips. Especially during planting and harvest, Ron enjoys watching the progress in different areas.

 

We are different in some ways. Ron’s favorite part of the trip is when he hits I-69 and he can just “go.” Mine is when I get off the highway and can travel the backroads. Perhaps the best part is our phone conversations with friends and family. Inevitably, they never begin with hello, but rather it is “Where are you at?”

 

Sometimes not only do we make the trip, but our projects do too. Ron is the metal worker and I am the woodworker. However, it doesn’t matter what the project is, some of the stuff we need is at the opposite place. Inevitably, just one tool or other thing to finish something is where we are not. Some of our projects have gone more miles than we have!

One time I got up and couldn’t figure out why the bathroom was in a different place. Then I remembered that we were at the “other” house! It’s the same in the kitchen. I instinctively reach for the tea bags or a certain pot or pan and it’s not there. Yep, my body is in the other home but apparently my mind stayed behind!

All in all, it’s not so bad, Despite the inconveniences, we are so blessed…not the fact that we are divided between two different places, but instead because we have twice the family and friends. My heart is definitely divided between Michigan, Indiana and Pennsylvania and, in spite of all the adjustments, I wouldn’t have it any other way!