Life can be strange sometimes, almost backwards. When we are kids, we can’t wait to grow up and do all the things adults do but when we find out all the responsibilities that being a grownup entails we long for our youth again.
Grandparents are a different breed altogether. After raising kids and making some mistakes along the way, we have learned. We want to do better with the grandkids. It’s really important to us that they like us, that they think we are fun, that we are cool (does anyone actually say that anymore??) and that they really want to come and stay with us.
So, we think of fun things to do with them when they come, we ALWAYS fix their favorite foods which always includes ice cream and popcorn and, miraculously, our joints just don’t hurt when they are around so we can crawl all over the floor and play with them. Isn’t that amazing!
Even though we enjoy all of this, the magical part is that when we need a break, they can go home. We just don’t think it can get any better than this. But then, something horrible and unimaginable happens. They grow up. They weren’t supposed to. Well, in the back of our minds we always knew that one day they would become responsible young adults who we would be so proud of, but how did it happen so quick? That quirky, funny, magical age when they thought we were the center of the universe was supposed to last if not forever, then at least 20 or 30 years. It doesn’t.
This is the problem. Although we love watching them become their own persons, we like to regress to that state of play and happy-go-luckiness (OK, this may not be an actual word, but we grandparents have the luxury of calling things whatever we want!) that we knew as kids and our grandkids take us there. When they grow up, it forces us to grow up….again, and we are not very good at that.
As hard as we try, there are just a few things that we can’t leave behind. Just so you grandkids…er, young adults now, know…..
HUGS. Just so you know, this is the biggy. Until you are grandparents yourselves (which we sincerely hope is a little while down the road yet), you will never know the joy we feel when you wrap your little arms around us and squeeze. It makes us feel like we are the only ones in the world to you. We were used to getting them when you came over, when you left, when you went to bed, when we dropped you off to soccer practice, when we picked you up, basically just about all the time.
We are having withdrawals. It’s imperative that you wean us off slowly on this one. Now, we know that when you are around friends or even girlfriends or boyfriends (oh gosh no!) it is embarrassing for you to hug us or heaven forbid that we hug you. This is muddy territory; what do we do, a handshake, a wave, tuck our hands behind our backs and walk away?
Help us out here, we are trying our best. So, just know that it takes all of our effort to refrain. So, when no one is around, could you still sneak us a hug or two. We promise that we’ll do better, but we really need these from you.
SLOBBERY KISSES. Running a real close second behind hugs, we miss these too. It always seemed that the better the clothes we had on, the more slobbery the kisses were and that was just fine! The only time this was a little embarrassing was in front of your Mom and Dad because they remember when they did it and they usually got a scolding. Oh well, we know those kisses aren’t coming back because they were only a right of passage but we just wanted you to know what they meant to us.
NOSINESS. OK, this is a really sticky one. We remember that whenever we saw you, you couldn’t wait to tell us about every single, minute detail of everything that had happened in your life for the last forever. Now, it’s like pulling teeth to find out anything that is going on with you. It’s like,
“How’s everything going?”
“What have you been up to?”
“Not much.”
“How’s school?”
“Good.”
Give us a little break here. We remember when we thought you would never quit talking, and that was just fine. Now, it’s like we have to crack some secret code to find out anything about your life. These one word answers just aren’t getting it….you do speak in whole sentences yet, don’t you?
We’re not being nosey, we just care. It really strikes a nerve when we see on FB that you got sunburned in Florida on spring break when we didn’t even know you were in Florida on spring break!
Remember when we got cell phones and you insisted that we learn to text. Well, we did learn and we’re not asking for a whole low down on your entire life, but a short text every so often would be great. I tried it, it only takes 3.4 seconds to type “How are you?” or “I’m going to prom, want to see my dress?” takes only 7.5 seconds.
We also know that you are ALWAYS on your phones anyway. That’s why, even when you are with us, you are not really with us, are you? You are texting five different friends at once which is why we get those one-word answers. Come on, sneak us a text or two a week just to let us know how you are doing. We promise, cross our hearts, that we won’t tell!
PHONES. Now, before I even go into this one, don’t get me wrong, we love phone calls from you any time, 24-7. However, we grandparents are not as naïve as you may think. Usually, when we are lucky enough to get a call from you, you are driving. First of all, we hope you are using hands-free calling, if not, this is a whole different ball game. But we know you are driving because when you reach your destination, it’s like “gotta go, love ya!” And just like that, you’re gone.
We are really trying to hang on and be patient because we know that when you get through your teen years and your early 20’s, you will eventually come back to us, not as the cute little pinch-your-cheek grandkids that we adored, but instead as responsible adults that are more like us.
It’s just this in-between stage that is so hard for us. Please be patient with us and cut us a little slack. We’re having a tough time but doing the best we can. However, be warned, some grandparents never grow up!
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